Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Helping LGBT Youth

Geoff Kors of EQCA recently had an op-ed in the Bay Area Reporter announcing EQCA’s new student internship program. It’s worth a read:

Originially appeared in the Bay Area Reporter

Jim Nickoff, my best friend of more than 20 years, came out at age 15 in 1978, a time when very few teenagers came out and even fewer services were available for LGBT youth. The pain he suffered after being rejected by his family, his faith, and community was overwhelming. Jim was determined to heal the wounds, but they never healed no matter how hard he worked at it. The realization that the pain would not end became unbearable. On December 16, 2007, he committed suicide at the age of 44.

Jim not only worked hard to overcome the harm he suffered as a youth, but he also worked hard to prevent other youth from going through what he did. He devoted his life to the fight for equality and created opportunities for LGBT youth through his work at Equality California and many other LGBT and HIV/AIDS organizations.

Creating a safe, accepting environment for LGBT youth is just as crucial today as it was when Jim came out. In fact, although the battles for equality being waged at the ballot box, in the courts, and in legislatures throughout the nation are most often in the spotlight, it is the battle for acceptance in schools that may very well be the most important fight of all.

We know how anti-LGBT forces preyed on parents’ fears about what will be taught in schools to strip away marriage rights at the ballot box in Maine and California. But the fight extends far beyond the issue of marriage and has been going on for decades.

Anti-LGBT organizations fought us every step of the way to prevent the passage of Harvey Milk Day legislation and, having lost, they are now working to keep schools from teaching about Harvey Milk, even urging parents to take their children out of public schools altogether on May 22, Harvey Milk Day, in protest.

Just last week, those leading the effort to repeal LGBT inclusive anti-bullying curriculum adopted by the Board of Education in Alameda, claiming it created “special rights,” reiterated their opposition even after the school board’s recent vote that not only reaffirmed its commitment to teaching respect for LGBT people but also expanded the curriculum to include respect for racial, ethnic, and religious minorities and others who are subject to discrimination-based bullying.

This change did nothing to appease opponents since the special rights argument is really just an excuse. Their true goal: preventing any positive mention of LGBT people in school curriculum.

These are just the latest fights in the many decades of school-related battles we have fought against those opposed to LGBT equality, which started long ago with attempts to prohibit LGBT individuals from being teachers, and they continue today.

Right-wing groups fight safe schools legislation, anti-bullying curriculum, and the establishment of gay-straight alliances because they believe that if straight students are taught to respect LGBT people and get to know LGBT students as friends and classmates, it will counter the bigotry these youth hear from right wing religious leaders, family members, and others, and we will gain greater acceptance.

They are threatening to boycott Harvey Milk Day because they worry that if students learn about the history of discrimination against, and achievements of, LGBT individuals, they will be less likely to hate us and more likely to support equality and acceptance. And they are right.

If students learn the truth, we will help stem the damage that bigotry and bullying cause. That is why Equality California has worked so hard to pass strong, inclusive safe schools legislation – legislation prohibiting negative portrayals of LGBT people in curriculum, and the bill creating Harvey Milk Day in California. It is why we will fight for inclusive curriculum and anti-bullying policies until they are the law in every school district in the state. It is why we need to make sure every California student knows why we are celebrating Harvey Milk Day on May 22, 2010, and every year thereafter.

We need to make it clear to the broader public – and parents in particular – that the danger isn’t in students learning about LGBT people in school, but rather the danger is in students not learning about LGBT people in school. We need to take on our opponents and call out these adult bullies for the very real harm they cause to LGBT youth – harm that lasts a lifetime. It is only by speaking out strongly about how youth are hurt by anti-LGBT prejudice that we have the opportunity to reduce the growing number of hate crimes against LGBT people and the higher rates of substance abuse, drop outs, and suicides among LGBT youth and adults that are a direct result of anti-gay bias.

We owe it to every LGBT youth and the children of LGBT parents, to fight for safe schools and inclusive curriculum. We owe it to Jim and to every LGBT person whose lives have been lost to suicide or a senseless hate crime. In fact, we owe it to every youth, LGBT or not, so that when they grow up and have kids of their own they can pass on the lessons of tolerance and acceptance. In so doing, we will be taking a major step toward ending the bigotry that damages so many lives and toward achieving our goal of true equality and acceptance.

The Equality California Institute has established a student internship in Jim Nickoff’s memory. Applications and information can be found at www.eqca/jobs.

[Via http://queermodesto.com]

Monday, December 21, 2009

GFest - gayWise LGBT Arts Festival 09 showcase widescreen (16:9) video

GFest – gayWise LGBT Arts Festival 09 came to a celebratory close on 22 November and the feedback from GFest 09 was overwhelmingly encouraging. Watch the GFest 09 showcase here.

Full programme info on : http://www.gaywisefestival.org.uk.php

London’s premier LGBT cross-arts festival, GFest is a platform for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender (LGBT) and queer artists, organisations and venues to promote LGBT and queer arts. Organised by arts charity Wise Thoughts, GFest features queer artists and talent across the arts, including visual arts, theatre, dance and performance, LGBT short films, debates, workshops and parties.

Artistic Director: Niranjan Kamatkar.

http://www.wisethoughts.org

http://www.gaywisefestival.org

http://www.facebook.com/niranjan.kamatkar

http://www.gaywisefestival.blogspot.com/

http://twitter.com/gfest

http://gaywisefestival.wordpress.com/

http://www.yoursemotionally.com/

http://www.myspace.com/interviewwithapolitician

http://www.flickr.com/photos/gfest/

http://www.youtube.com/user/wisethoughts copyright: Wise Thoughts (c) 2009

[Via http://gaywisefestival.wordpress.com]

Friday, December 18, 2009

3 half chewed mice

I’m less enraged now, but it keeps spiking briefly.  I am … what am I … disturbed [no kidding] … unsettled.  Sad.  Still angry.  This morning I was tempted to give her the url here, she’s missing me as hectically as I miss her – but it’s too soon and too sad.  She said my writing today was the best ever [aw] and that she liked the migrating jackets.  I was so tired and I guess I went past it – yet another sleepless night.

Today FB wants to know:

Which of these stakeholders should be more values-driven to foster a better world? Small and medium-sized local businesses Domestic politics in your country Large, global, multinational corporations Institutions of global governance … ffs.  NONE of them are fit to foster freaking hamsters.

[Via http://builtinobsolescence.wordpress.com]

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

POLITICO Fascinated by Rug Muncher

I’m not sure what rug munching brings to society or politics in terms of value-added skills, but somehow Politico thinks this is a Landmark?  Wouldn’t Tiger Woods be more qualified in this category?  Exactly.

“Key Trend.”   Trend for what?  Complete and utter nonsense:

The landmark election Saturday of America’s first big-city lesbian mayor in Houston represents more than just a milestone in identity politics.

via Houston election signals key trend – - POLITICO.com.

[Via http://punditpawn.wordpress.com]

Monday, December 14, 2009

Knowing Your Own Darkness Is The Best Method For Dealing With The Darknesses Of Other People...

Dec 13th 2009

This weekend has been filled with miracles, love, happiness and relaxation…For which I’m sincerely thankful and grateful from the bottom of my heart…

I’m so very pleased to report that my Brother and I are getting along exceptionally well…Last night he actually came to me for some comfort , while shedding many tears and with deep pain in his heart…I felt honored indeed…I was gentle and compassionate with him of course, I listened mostly and only shared my wisdom with him when he would ask me to…This is remarkable progress for him and I! I discovered something rather amazing about him as well, that he and I love in a very similar way…We both love very deeply and with all of our hearts and souls…I had no idea! Anyway, he expressed his sadness and shared the fact that he has lost his soulmate…I’ve never heard anything of this nature from him before…He told me that he loved this particular girl so much because she is a very good and loving person and described her as being very comparable to me…Which my Sunshine said that her and I were very much alike as well…Upon meeting my Brother’s girlfriend Sunshine told me that she fell instantly in love with her and thoroughly enjoyed her company…

So what do you know, I thought my Brother has always despised me for being the way that I am…And now from his mouth to my ears, he tells me that the very reason that he loves this girl so much, is because her character resembles mine so closely…Words couldn’t begin to express how dumbfounded I am by this revelation…All of this time, my Brother was actually paying attention after all, and amazingly enough he tells me that he deeply respects me for my courageous character and remaining true to myself (As a lesbian) when I was under such pressure to be otherwise…Wow, is the best expression that I can come up with at this very moment…And you know? It’s funny how fate and destiny play their parts throughout our lives…In the last year, I’ve been severely overcome with emotion and heartache, which ultimately led me to seek the help that I needed…But I had become mentally exhausted by the knowledge of my Brother’s return also…And yet miracles never cease to happen either…My Brother is home and I’m sharing my recovery knowledge and the 12 steps with him so he can recover from his profound addictions too…Plus I’ve begun discussing our family’s mental issues and inherited characteristics with him as well…Although I must be careful and patient to only speak with him about something that intricate and personal when he wishes to communicate openly and honestly…

I stood in my front yard today looking with amazement and wonder at my beautiful new driveway that my Brother made for me…So I can park my car without having to step in sand or dirt anymore…Plus, he raked up all the leaves in the yard too…I find that I’m now overcome and at a loss for words to say anything more about my Brother at this time…

Therefore, moving on…

Ashton and I had a beautiful time together yesterday…Truthfully, I’ve been thoroughly enjoying my family’s company very much lately…Again a miracle in itself…And I find that my heart is overflowing with peace, love and happiness…For which I’m forever grateful…

Amidst all of this joy however, something very mystifying happened to me last night…About 3 or 4 in the morning, I started to feel Bahar’s spirit upon me very strongly and intensely…My skin was crawling with her and my skin felt electrified like it used to when she touched me…I felt unexpectedly overwhelmed by all of this because it literally came out of nowhere…My senses became altogether aroused and inflamed…Afterwards I fell into a deep sleep but when I woke up 7 pounds was on T.V. I suppose this will be another mystery that I’ll never be able to fully understand though…If I tell you that our paths converging is serendiptous…Or what if I say that I believe that neither one of us stood a chance against Kismet and a twist of fate…Or what if I tell you that she is indeed my soulmate after all…And what if I express to you that I truly love her so deeply that I can feel her spirit sometimes…Well then, wouldn’t you say back to me that I’m justifiably foolish and absurd and perhaps guilty of watching too many movies? You would probably be thinking it at the very least, I’m more than sure…Although I will end by saying this however…The universe is unfathomable, vast and mysterious…Anything can happen if you believe that it can…Everybody has potential…And I believe with all of my heart and soul, that love alone, and above all, possesses possibility beyond our wildest comprehension…

[Via http://shiftingbeauty.wordpress.com]

Friday, December 11, 2009

In My World

It’s a very nice arrangement here in My World.

it’s always entertaining here in My World.

- from My World, Troutfishing in America

One of my sisters – although I’m sure the others think it, too – constantly reminds me that my world is not the same as anyone else’s world.  She says it in a slightly derogatory but resigned voice.   She once gave me a Christmas card with a green alien on the front that said “Joy to your world”.

I like my world.

My world has been clashing with other worlds lately.  My brains are a bit rattled and I’m grateful to have a day like today where my world doesn’t have to be ripped open and exposed.  However, the last 15 hours have been enlightening; I am convinced, without a doubt, that my world is perfect (for me, anyways.  You’re welcome to live in your imperfect world. )

I was slightly put out a week ago when one of the writers in my group told me that two men (in a long-term relationship) would never hug in the workplace because the gay world just doesn’t allow that.  I’d done a lot of research before writing this, but the entire story hinges on this one action so I decided to do some more research before I threw in the towel entirely.  I asked a lot of people a lot of questions, and received a lot of very helpful answers.  The best answer, though, came from someone entirely unexpected.  He said, “…you can really have the characters do whatever you like, as long as it’s true to who they are.”

Ah, yes.  Who they are.  In their own worlds.

Last night, the writers were ripping apart my story ( ’salright, it needed to be ripped apart ’cause I’m really stuck on it) when there began a loud-ish discussion about the worlds of my characters.  The writers were all trying to get me to define those worlds, and I just wasn’t understanding what they wanted.  I finally clued in, and asked if the characters’ sexual preferences were really all that important.

You know when someone says one thing but you can tell they mean another?  Imagine a split second of silence, and then five people saying  – in unison – “No, of course not!”.

Yeah.  My world.  In my world, it’s not so important to be defined by one word, whether that one word refers to food preferences, personality, sexuality, or even gender.  I like to be with people who are true to who they are, not what they are.  I now have to think about whether I want to write for an audience which defines their world with anything less than the entirety of Roget’s Thesaurus, or whether I want to write for people who live in worlds like mine.

My world has also won out in the world of teaching.  It seems that traditional methods of teaching ESL are not very effective when used over the internet, and that “properly trained” teachers are losing students.  Following rules is now seen as a bad thing because the rules don’t apply to everyone, they don’t cross cultures.  I’ve been asked to put together a training session to expose the teachers to the concept of students as individuals, and to show them how to think beyond their training.

So, my dear sister can continue to make comments about my world but, quite honestly, this world has done well for me for over 40 years.

I wouldn’t change it for your world.

[Via http://theenglishmajor.wordpress.com]

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

It Wasn't Love

Although Sadie Benning’s film entitled “It Wasn’t Love” is narrated from the perspective of a young lesbian, I am not convinced that the film is completely successful in subverting dominant images of masculinity or conquering the male gaze. I do believe that the film is successful in representing the possibility for romantic love to exist outside of traditional heterosexual relationships. Additionally, the characters of the film are presented as powerful and commanding, opening up the opportunity for young women to identify themselves with authoritative female characters. However, there was one scene which I found particularly troublesome. When the camera zooms in on a woman’s mouth sucking a thumb, I was instantly reminded of fellatio. I felt as if I was embodying the male gaze because this scene seemed to visually tease the viewer by simulating a sexual experience. Perhaps the image was supposed to mock the male gaze, however I felt trapped within the masculine perspective. I eagerly waited for the scene to change so that I would not have to stare at this uncomfortable scenario and could regain to my identity as a female viewer.

[Via http://sexculturepolitics.wordpress.com]

Monday, December 7, 2009

Trevor Project Coming to Tulare County

From the Porterville Recorder:

Suicide: Rates are high.

December 04, 2009 5:41 PM

BY JENNA CHANDLER

THE PORTERVILLE RECORDER

A well known national organization geared towards preventing suicide attempts among gay youth has begun an educational and awareness push in Tulare County.

It will be the first time representatives from The Trevor Project have worked in a rural, conservative area in California.

It is a partnership that the county’s suicide prevention task force and the nonprofit organization say will likely reduce the number of suicide attempts in Tulare County. It will simultaneously launch the Trevor Project’s efforts in reaching such a vulnerable community in other rural municipalities statewide.

“Getting to the point where you want to end your life is not OK,” Dave Reynolds, a manager at the Trevor Project, said. “It is a social justice problem, it’s a serious public health problem.”

Established in 1988, with headquarters in Los Angeles, the Trevor Project operates with a $2.1 million budget, and relies on social networking sites and school workshops to reduce high rates of suicide attempts among the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender youth nationwide.

The nonprofit organization touts statistics to further its mission of promoting acceptance of gay people. Those who come from non-accepting families are up to nine times more likely to attempt suicide than their heterosexual peers.

The contract signed with the Tulare County Suicide Prevention Task force is for two years at the rate of $50,000 total, and paid for with funding from the Mental Health Services Act.

Representatives will be here about three days per month for the next two years.

Since January, 36 people have committed suicide county-wide, with six of them having occurred in the Porterville area. Nearly half were among people aged 35 to 50, with the youngest person being 11-years-old.

In total, 12 are listed as being motivated by relationship problems, or emotional issues or depression, according to data maintained by the Tulare County Coroner’s Department.

Recent studies show that 1 in 3 lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender youth will attempt suicide. Attempts are often reaction to how they are being treated in their homes, schools and religious communities.

“This is a community susceptible to suicide and suicide attempts,” Noah Whitaker, a task force member said.

Such statistics are not tracked locally, but as a part of their commitment to Tulare County, Trevor Project’s staff and volunteers will begin to do so, according to Whitaker.

When the task force received its funding from the Mental Health Services Act, its members determined it would be “the best group to go about handling,” he said.

While the Trevor Project’s suicide prevention hotline (866-4-U-TREVOR) has yet to gain popularity in Tulare County, Reynolds expects that will change. A disproportionate number of calls to the 24/7 free and confidential service come from rural areas.

He aims to work with students in potentially every school, to teach them empathy for people who are different, and the negative impacts of using words like “gay,” “faggot” and “dyke.”

“Young people tend to go to their friends with their issues … before they go to adults and parents,” he said. “We will equip all young people to know how to handle these tough issues when they come up.”

Educators, physicians, social workers, and the like, will receive training on what triggers suicide and its warning signs.

Contact information for The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255.

[Via http://queervisalia.com]

Thursday, December 3, 2009

'LesbianSugarLounge New Online Store'

New Online Store: 

 Not sure what to buy your girlfriend for xmas this year! Look no futher we now have lots of great ideas in our new online store.

Check out our Online Store for ‘all things lesbian’ You can now purchase books, DVD’s and CD’s by your favourite lesbian authors, directors and musicians. Our music section also includes the UK Bestsellers Album Chart. We have a selection of lesbian gift ideas, lesbian/Pride jewelry and a range of mobile phones and lots more available in our new online store. http://www.LesbianSugarLounge.com

[Via http://lesbiansugarlounge.wordpress.com]

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Family Ties Star Comes Out

Meredith Baxter, who played Elyse Keaton on the popular television series Family Ties, told Matt Lauer on TODAY this morning that she is a lesbian.

From MSNBC:

“I am a lesbian and it was a later-in-life recognition,” she told Matt Lauer on TODAY. “Some people would say, well, you’re living a lie and, you know, the truth is — not at all. This has only been for the past seven years.”

Baxter, 62, though anxious, decided to come out on national television after her sexuality became tabloid fodder.

“I’ve always lived a very private life,” said the actress, who’s never even had a publicist. “To come out and disclose stuff is very antithetical to who I am.”

Baxter has been with her current girlfriend, Nancy Locke, a contractor she met through mutual friends, for the past four years. Because Locke is openly lesbian, their relationship has not been kept a closely guarded secret.

“I had to reach a level of comfort because it wasn’t fair to push her back into secrecy,” she said. “We live very out lives in Los Angeles.”

But, until now, that level of comfort only extended so far. Last year, Baxter and her former “Family Ties” cast mates reunited on TODAY. Locke stayed back at the hotel, still a part of Baxter’s life that she wasn’t yet ready to reveal to the world.

[Via http://kreuzer33.wordpress.com]

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Fundraising To Elect Alaska's First LGBT Candidate

I have a friend who needs the community’s support. And we need his leadership.

A few months ago, while waiting for the start of the True Diversity Dinner, collecting myself in preparation for hosting the event, a stranger walked over to where I was sitting and randomly handed me a note card containing the names of every elected official in attendance. I was aware of most of the names, and had already planned on mentioning everyone. But there were a few important people who I had no idea had shown up, and all of a sudden, there they were, neatly compiled on the note card now sitting in front of me. This gentleman knew very well – better than I did – that it’s easier than you might think to blank on names while on stage (or during Katie Couric interviews), and he didn’t want me to leave anyone out; wanted to make sure the event went smoothly. Even after years of experience on stage, I had managed to space on a general rule. That’s how I met Christopher Constant. He had my back even before I knew his name.

Well, now Christopher wants to stand up for this community. He’s tired of the LGBT community being Jerry Prevo’s punching bag. He believes in this city and this state and thinks it’s about time that we drag that stubborn right foot out of the dark ages. Yesterday, I received this email from him:

“Please come support the effort to organize a campaign to elect an openly lesbian and/or gay elected official in Alaska. To the best knowledge of everyone I know, Alaska has never elected an OUT gay or lesbian candidate to public office. NOW IS THE TIME.

I (Christopher Constant) have been invited and given a scholarship to the Gay and Lesbian Leadership Institute’s candidate and campaign training coupled with the 25th annual LGBT International Leadership Conference in San Francisco, Dec 2 – Dec 6, 2009.

I was awarded a $1,200 scholarship for the training. I have invested my own treasure substantially. I am hoping you can come and share a small bit of your treasure to help cover the rest of the cost. I could use your help.

People have asked what seat I am planning to run for. This effort is bigger than me. It is about electing a candidate. It may be me, but I have no plans in the next two years of running. Instead, I intend to take the time to organize so that when 2012 rolls around, the effort has more chance of success.

http://www.glli.org/training/candidate_campaign

http://www.victoryfund.org/files/conference2009/glli.html

I have consulted with APOC and because this campaign is neither connected with a specific candidate nor a specific piece of legislation, I don’t have to say ‘Paid for by’ anybody.”

This is a huge step forward for our community. Leadership needs to be built from the bottom up, or else you end up with a few folks, who were already at the top, in control of those at the bottom. Alaska is known for it’s established, corrupt leadership; in government and religious institutions alike. We have a lot of great people working to change that, but they need our committed support, as well as a steady flow of reinforcements. This is an uphill struggle against very well rooted opposition, as many here in Anchorage most recently saw over the summer during the battle for equality, which failed due to fear mongering from certain radio personalities, bused in masses from Wal*churches like the Anchorage Baptist Temple, Change Point, and the Independent Baptist Church of Wasilla, and a final veto from a Mayor who knows a little something about dynastic privilege.

There is a good chance that we will lose some key seats on the Assembly this April if we don’t start to dig our heels in and fight back against the “sky is falling” mentality that is already spreading faster than the lies that created it. This is a time to connect with each other, strengthen bonds, educate, prepare. It takes a strong character to have the courage to vocally stand up and fight, but that’s exactly the medicine that we so desperately need.

You may not know him yet, but Christopher Constant already has your back.

I’ll personally be donating $100 to his effort, and it would mean a lot to me, personally, and a lot of other people if you came down and showed support as well. Twenty bucks, five bucks; a beer and well wishes. Whatever you can afford.

Monday night, 6-8pm at Mad Myrna’s, 503 East 5th Avenue, downtown Anchorage.

I truly hope to see you there.

[Via http://alaskacommons.wordpress.com]

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Adam Lambert /AMA Awards - dangerous message for our children

A few years ago I recall  there was a WNBA game at Madison Square Garden during which lesbians staged a “kiss in” for whatever reason they thought they had to. My guess is  the motivation was pure attention seeking and  a need to be seen but who knows. I remember feeling very strongly  that not only was it inappropriate because most obviously  people brought their children to the games, but also because we as adults should have the right to enjoy ourselves on our free time  without having some sexual political agenda being forced down our throats while we are there. If I want to support gay rights I will go to a meeting where it is presented  not to Disney World ,professional sporting events or anything else that falls under the umbrella of leisurely activity for me and my family. The awful behavior by  Adam Lambert,some American Idol singer on ABC’s AMA award show last night, struck me in exactly the same way. It was grossly  self indulgent and highly inappropriate . Those of us with cynical minds may sneer and say  thats what made it great , that it said screw all convention and was a charged performance. (I  have mistakenly always assumed performances required talent.)Once again I will answer .. Why should my leisure family time be infested with  some person’s  obssesive need to be seen in a vulgar way or by some hidden agenda by a pseudo political group? Why are the needs of some perverted ,greedy individual or  the agenda of a  gay rights group  and the money it can possibly generate more important than the rights of our children and the decency  and respect we as adults should be offered on our free time?  Adults have the right to choose if they want to be involved in  some political cause or go to  a racy sex show . That is what makes our country great. However ,it becomes distinctly  wrong when an adults  choose to do something like go to  a sporting event and it is shoved down their throats. Or possibly their 10 year old daughter has a passion for music and  a parent chooses to put on the AMA awards ( network tv: ABC)  so she can see professionals perform and is  victimized by the  egocentric ,money motivated, self indulgent antics of some  gay singer. Will this all end when we finally have  achieved full dissolution of the family in this country? Furthermore if you are someone who still believes in family and has certain values where do you turn?? I can tell you this with certainty…What we are allowing and choosing as a society is tremedously compromising to the fabric and integrity of the family in America. Our children are learning that that the expression of an individual  even if it is sexual ,violent and evil  and the need to make money are more important than their own self worth.

Idol singer on ABC’s AMA award show last night struck me as exactly the same type of thing. It was grossly  self indulgent and highly inappropriate . Those of us with cynical minds may sneer and say  thats what made it great , that it said screw all convention and was a charged performance. (I  have mistakenly always assumed performances required talent.)Once again I will answer .. Why should my leisure family time be infested with  some person’s  obssesive need to be seen in a vulgar way or by some hidden agenda by a pseudo political group? Why are the needs of some individual or  gay rights group  and the money it can possibly generate more important than the rights of our children and the decency we as adults should be offered on our free time?  Adults have the right to choose of they want to be involved in political agenda or go to  a racy sex show however it becomes wrong when they choose to do something like go to  a sporting event and it is shoved down their throats. Or possibly their 10 year old has a passion for music and I as a parent put on the AMA awards ( network tv: ABC)  so she can see professionals perform and am victimized by the  egocentric ,money motivated, self indulgent antics of some  gay singer. Will this all end when we finally have  achieved full dissolution of the family in this country? Furthermore if you are someone who still believes in family and has certain values where do you turn??

[Via http://ragingeagle.wordpress.com]

Young femme invisibility

 

While browsing the blogosphere, I noticed all the talk about femme invisibility. SugarButch and the nice blogger from can I help you sir? Some say that of course there is no such thing of that! We see you, cause were dating you! Or something to that degree. But I have to agree. I’m pretty damn invisible. I mean most gay girls over look me and just keep walking right into the arms of the cute dyke who screams gay. I mean, fine you don’t like me that way but at lest acknowledge me as a freaking lesbian at the GSA meetings. It’s hard enough being one of the two black girls at the meetings, but must you ignore me as well? At every meeting do  I have remind you I’m a lesbian by saying” I’m a real lesbian!” every time? I really don’t want to change who I am just so I can have cute Boi’s walk up to me and acknowledge that I’m alive. I don’t want to cut my hair ,get a gay tattoo, buy men’s clothing and buy a bunch of gay  shirt’s that are obscene. That’s just not me. I’m a laid back girl who dose prefers her apple bottom jeans and sneakers. But can work a dress and high heels like nobody’s business.So why should I change who I am just prove to people I’m gay? I mean, I”m attracted to the masculine side of the lesbian/Queer spectrum just because I’m attracted to them and what they seem to bring out in me. Every time I’m around them it makes my heart beat a little faster and just brings a big old geeky smile to my face. Maybe it’s because I go to college in a small town and can’t go to any of the clubs because I’m 19. Or maybe it’s because sadly, I live in a not so thriving part of the south that dosen’t have a lot of young lesbians. We have  lots of lesbians here but none who are my age. So I guess I’m just sick and tired of being ignored and laughed off when I say I’m a lesbian. It really hurts me that I’m being ignored as part of the lesbian community just because I don’t scream “gay” the way they want me to scream gay. And you know what, that’s BS. I shouldn’t have to prove I’m gay just because I don’t look like the stereotypical “lesbian”. So this  a plea from a young baby femme, next time you see a  femme girl walk into the GSA and come out to people in the club, don’t laugh. Just give a small smil and say” Hi there”.

 

 

[Via http://princessbabydyke.wordpress.com]

Friday, November 20, 2009

Ask a Stupid Question...

This bit of news has been traveling around the Internet today…

The poll asked this question: “Do you think that Barack Obama legitimately won the Presidential election last year, or do you think that ACORN stole it for him?” The overall top-line is legitimately won 62%, ACORN stole it 26%.

Among Republicans, however, only 27% say Obama actually won the race, with 52% — an outright majority — saying that ACORN stole it, and 21% are undecided. Among McCain voters, the breakdown is 31%-49%-20%. By comparison, independents weigh in at 72%-18%-10%, and Democrats are 86%-9%-4%.

It seems Republicans believe all sorts of things these days. Additionally, thanks in large part to Fox News no one’s ever accused the GOP or large parts of the Republican base of being well-informed. Or you know, even based in reality. Obama won cause George W. Bush and the Republican majorities he enjoyed in Congress for 6 of his 8 years in office managed to screw up damn near everything. Plus his opponent chose that vapid lady from Alaska to be his running mate and completely flubbed his response to the economic crisis. Plus he won despite the first legitimate African-American candidate for the Presidency and being portrayed as a racist-communist-socialist-anarchist-Nazi.

So let’s just call this what it is: a majority of Republicans are so self-deluded that  they can’t wrap their minds around the fact that their form of government brought our country to the brink of ruin and would rather blame a scapegoat that practically  no one had heard of before last year’s election than take responsibility for the fact that they screwed up.

Welcome to America, we have excuses.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

The Fog Is Like A Cage Without A Key...

Nov 17th 2009

Depression is nourished by a lifetime of ungrieved hurts…

I’ve been feeling really sick for the past few days, and home from work as a result…Which is a rare occurence for me considering I’m typically in great health and I really do love, appreciate and enjoy doing my job on a daily basis (well mostly)…So, consequently I had to go see the “Doc” today…Of course I’m not comparable to a Doctor or anything, but I thought I had figured out the culprit of what is ailing me, regardless…I assumed it was related to being unusually challenged lately and hormonally imbalanced, a stressful duo to say the least…Plus, heavy menstruation, check! Premenopausal, check, and feeling weary, check!

The “Doc” said while these issue’s might play a small part in the overall picture, or could just be merely coincidental? After some necessary testing, blood work and observation…The “Doc” concluded that I’m severely depressed…A little depression is normal for me during my monthly cycle after all, but what the hell, severely? Meanwhile, on the brighter side…my iron is low as well!

I had to practically beg my Doctor to let me go back too work on Thursday, instead of an order to take the entire week off or more…But as a compromise, I had to agree to take another antidepressant along with the one I’ve already been taking for a very long time now…And so it goes, I’m required to take 2 antidepressants to function properly as a normal human being *sigh*

It’s ironic, that on one hand, I have the tools of recovery to rely on…Which teaches me that I MUST finally allow myself to grieve, so what’s been damaged within me can be completely healed …One day at a time, I learn how to tame and manage my uncontrolled feelings properly…I’m becoming capable of loving and embracing my child spirit…By coming to terms with a Divine Power greater than myself and (sincerely) admitting that I am powerless to fight these battles alone…But with the Divine Spirit of Love by my side I’m becoming courageous and fearless…I’m becoming what I was destined to become…A warrior spirit! And the battlefield is complex, dark and vast when I’m confronting my sorrows and tackling my fears…I’m slaying the enemy and my inner demons, one by one…

But on the other hand…

What’s got me so down and defeated, is NOT within my power at all! Because as I just wrote, I’m much more confident in my internal struggles after all…It’s my brother! He is extremely toxic…I’m intensely worried about my little Ashton…My nephew is much like me in the sense that he’s emotionally sensitive, and he is very sensitive to cruelty…His Father is a very cruel and heartless human being *sigh* Ashton and I are very different from the rest of our family members and quite frankly just about everybody else we find ourselves surrounded by most of the time too…We’re both intellectual, and seekers of knowledge, we are tender-hearted, gentle and compassionate human beings…I know from personal experience that the very essence of Ashton and I, are qualities and characteristics that my brother considers weaknesses…And therefore he will do his very best to crush Ashton when he returns here in 2 weeks…I’ve looked into what rights I may have through the justice system to save Ashton from harm, and sadly, my being a lesbian alone will make the process intensely difficult to get custody of him…Although I’m by far the most qualified to give him the highest quality of life after all…Ironically, I’m the only one out of my family, who’s turned out for the best and capable of being responsible, plus have the wisdom to actually learn from my mistakes…

I feel powerless, but not in a healthy meaningful way…I feel powerless like I did when I was growing up…I was powerless to stop the damage done then…Now I have to ask myself and God, how am I supposed to stand by helplessly watching Ashton (the apple of my eye and my heart) slowly and deliberately being destroyed…

 

Monday, November 16, 2009

Helping Tasha

The first time I saw her was in the Student Union at the college I attend. She sat alone, looking sad. I went over and asked if I could sit down. It was a Saturday afternoon, and most people had left campus.

We talked some, and I found out she felt left out. I should explain that Tasha is a black girl on a mostly white campus. She is a freshman and had not made many friends. I wondered whether that’s because of her race or because she is shy or because she is overweight. Needless to say, I didn’t speculate to her but instead tried to cheer her up. After a few minutes I invited her to my room. My roommate had gone home, so I had the room to myself.

After we got there I put some music on and that seemed to cheer Tasha. I asked if she liked to dance, and her eyes brightened. So we started dancing — and I started getting turned on! Before long we were going pretty well and Tasha had cheered up a lot and I knew I wanted her.

Long story short, we ended up in bed (which you probably guessed we would). Her brown pussy tasted so good, and I think she came 3 times before I told her it was my turn. She licked me pretty well, and I came a couple of times myself. Then we cuddled naked and I played with her big brown boobs. Her darker nipples are beautiful, so fat and lovely to suck.

Since then Tasha has gained more friends. I introduced her to all of mine girlfriends. Now every time I see Tasha she is smiling.

Friday, November 13, 2009

"Empress of the World" by Sara Ryan

Nicola (Nic) Lancaster is a nerd.  There, I said it.  She’s a nerd.  She likes school, she gets along with her parents, and she wants to be an archaeologist when she grows up.  When she meets Battle, a southern quiet-type with long honey colored hair and some hidden family secrets, she’s suddenly faced with some feelings she can’t explain, because Battle is a girl.  Thus begins “Empress of the World,” one of my favorite YA novels that I’ve read thus far.

The rest of the book chronicles Nic and Battles’ tentative, on-again off-again summer camp romance, with a lovely sense of humor and evocative descriptions of first love.  Nic, the archaeologist in training, has trouble putting aside her penchant for analysis, which makes it hard for her to really fall in love; and Battle has trouble opening herself up to Nic’s constant soul searching, which makes it hard for her to really fall in love as well.  Their ups and downs are colored by their ragtag group of nerd friends – Katrina, the computer programmer who comes up with matchmaking schemes; Isaac, who’s always brooding about his parents’ divorce; and Kenny, who can compose symphonies but can’t put a sentence together.

Aside from the sweet, no frills love story, and the friends I wish I had, my favorite thing about this book is it’s simplicity.  Our heroines meet, banter a lot, fall in love, have a little bit of sex… and that’s it.  No coming out drama, no angry parents, no cynicism from authority figures.  I also really like the fact that for once, the nerds get to win.  It’s not about the girl who was once popular and then shunned when she came out of the closet; It’s not about the girl who was always teased and then made it worse when she fell in love with that other girl.  It’s about the self-proclaimed misfits, the ones who know that once they get to college, none of this will matter.  It helps that it’s set at summer camp, a world in which its easy to forego the authority figures and the popularity contests, but it works, because for those of us who have been to academic/performing arts/visual arts summer camp, we know that it is indeed a place to leave high school behind.

Maybe I just like this book because I relate to it (not that I got that much action at camp), but in any case, I found it refreshing and just plain sweet.

Book talk hook:  I would talk about how much Nic likes to analyze things, and leave the audience wondering whether the love story is going to work out.  I might talk about the kind of magical place she depicts the summer camp to be.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

AMA votes to seek repeal of "Don't Ask Don't Tell"

By LINDSEY TANNER (AP)

CHICAGO — The American Medical Association on Tuesday voted to oppose the military’s ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy, and declared that gay marriage bans contribute to health disparities.

The nation’s largest doctors’ group stopped short of saying it would seek to overturn marriage bans, but its new stance angered conservative activists and provides a fresh boost to lobbying efforts by gay-rights advocates.

“It’s highly significant that the AMA as one of this country’s leading professional associations has taken a position on both of these issues,” said Rea Carey, executive director of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, a Washington-based advocacy group.

The health disparities measure “in the long run, will certainly help efforts to win marriage equality,” Carey said.

Whether the AMA’s lobbying power will hasten efforts to overturn the ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ law remains to be seen. President Barack Obama has said he is working with congressional leaders to end the policy, and the AMA’s stance will likely help, although gay rights issues have been upstaged by Obama’s health care overhaul battle.

The AMA’s vote took place at the group’s interim policy-making meeting in Houston, a day after AMA delegates voted to affirm their support for health reform.

The health disparities policy is based on evidence showing that married couples are more likely to have health insurance, and that the uninsured have a high risk for “living sicker and dying younger,” said Dr. Peter Carmel, an AMA board member.

Full article here.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Gay rights rant

Fundamentalists and right wing pundits in Maine demonstrated their finesse at utilizing morality to win the public hate debate surrounding gay rights.

The entire gay rights debate chafes me. I am annoyed that there is a debate about something that should be a non-issue. Is there anything new about being gay? Nope, we’ve been around since the species started recording things, though long term marginalization requires sifting and sorting through the details to find us. Is homosexuality unusual? Nope, there are more of us than there are left-handed people, people with green eyes or people with IQs over 140. Furthermore there are people that are green-eyed, left-handed, with an IQ well over 140, gay and/or transgendered. Genetic variations are astonishing, aren’t they?

Click here to read full post

Creating a Helpful Books Page

I get asked a lot which books I would recommend for those seeking some answers in their struggle to reconcile their faith with homosexuality.  I’ve started compiling a list of books I found most helpful.  On the top of the list is Jack Roger’s Jesus, the Bible and Homosexuality–with a study guide.  For churches and individuals who are seeking answers, it’s thorough, complete, but not too heady.  

When I was looking, I didn’t want answers based on “feelings” or “desires” or “wants”…. I needed a way to think of homosexuality as I think of other things: in accordance with the one book that holds a lot of importance and authority in my life–the Bible.  If I couldn’t find a Biblical way to make it work–a way to make it work within my faith–I don’t know how I would have coped with being gay.  

Christians have a worldview that includes a personal relationship with a god–the God.  This is so radical that I think we’ve lost sight of how radical it is to talk like this, both inside the Christian community and what we sound like outside of it.  But the truth is—we DO communicate with a god, and that God is seriously in love with us.  He watches us individually as if we were the only person on Earth, and he cares what’s happening in our lives.  So, we don’t want to hurt him, and we don’t want to do anything to mess up that relationship.  

This is why many Christians who find out they are gay commit suicide.  They can’t find a way to reconcile these two things.  The Helpful Books page is a way, I think, for people to find the merging of their faith–INTACT–with their sexuality.  If they are afraid of the “lifestyle” choices of other gays, they need not be—straight men and women also choose “lifestyles” that aren’t the most productive.  You can choose to do whatever you want to do with this life you are given, straight or gay.  The important part is to choose life.

The Books page is for anyone looking for life.  

 

Friday, November 6, 2009

Derelicte is Sweeping the Nation

Okay. Does everyone remember last summer when Afrika and Jappy were having a birthday, and we all wanted to have a derelicte themed party in homage to Derek Zoolander? Remember when certain #team members and #team-adjacent “friends” poo-pooed said theme and told us it would be stupid? Well, suck on this, nerds:

This was preceisely my costume idea for our party. Also, the man in this picture is my future husband. Just an FYI.

Yes, you are seeing that right. That is a dress that looks shockingly like it is made from cellophane and black trash bags. I COULD HAVE WORN THAT DRESS! I COULD HAVE MADE THAT DRESS! DERELICTE IS THE BEST PARTY/CLOTHING THEME EVER!

The moral of this story is: never trust non #team members when coming up with party ideas. They suck, and we are awesome.

(NB: Kristen Stewart is likewise awesome. I am officially inducting her into the #team. Welcome Kristen, you are among friends.)

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Change Indeed

I’m feeling a lot better than I have been and not just because I’ve got more sleep. Hope and Change are more real tonight than they were a year ago. Virginia and New Jersey are the first indicators of a coming Conservative Revolution in 2010 and Maine and Washington are possibly going to  follow California’s lead in preserving marriage. Voters across the country are also less confident in Obama than they were on Election night 2008.

Tonight, residents of both Virginia and New Jersey elected Republican governors. Republican Bob McDonnell won the gubernatorial race in Virgina and Chris Christie – also Republican – won the race in New Jersey. Recent congressional polls have shown Republicans ahead of Democrats and if tonight’s GOP victory is any precursor to the November 2010 Election, President Obama will have a rough time pushing his agenda through Congress.

Voters in Maine overturned their legislature’s decision to legalize same-sex marriage, joining 30 states with explicit same-sex marriage bans (14 other states have statutes prohibiting same-sex marriage). Referendum 71 in Washington – which prohibits same-sex marriage but allows domestic partnerships – has, by most accounts, passed (As of 11/3/09 at 11:30 PM Pacific time, the referendum had over 51% approval). The number of US states where gay marriage is legal will once again drop to 5 (I personally expect Iowans to put a measure on the 2010 or 2012 ballot reversing the Iowa Supreme Court’s decision to allow same-sex marriage earlier this year).

According to Gallup, Americans are less sure about President Obama than they were a year ago when he was elected. 68% of respondents feel that the US is more divided than before while only 29% feel otherwise. Gallup also indicated that of the past 9 Presidents this country has had since WWII, Obama ranks number 8 when it comes to approval ratings a year after an election (Currently, his approval is hovering around 53% – going as low as 46% some days).  

Hope and Change. These two revolutionary concepts are not truly appreciated until things come to the brink. Until your whole world seems to be in the process of collapse, you cannot look toward “Hope and Change” with real eagerness. But when the national debt is increased to ungodly levels and a ring of corruption chokes Capitol Hill, we all hope for change. Champions of traditional marriage have pushed back the advances made by gay rights advocates, even in the socially liberal states of Washington and Maine. Will Iowa be the next? Voters in Virginia and New Jersey have led the way so now the question is, will the rest of us follow?

Monday, November 2, 2009

Don't tell me straight men don't like to have gay sex appeal!

Dolce and Gabba Underwear Ad

Okay…for every straight guy who turns his nose up at gay people (even those straight model types) – there are those who realize that their good looks and chiesled body can earn them a following (and a paycheck) that they can’t resist. It’s funny when I watch some of those reality TV shows that showcase models, musicians, etc and watch their reactions when they learn that gay people like them or help them in their road to success. But I bet they are not turning up their noses when they get that paycheck at the end of the week.

Enter Dolce and Gabanna. Whether you are a fashion whore or a name brand slut (i know such harsh words) – you got to admit – these straight guys and girls over at DG know how to win over the gay and lesbian community. Of course not being an American company helps!! Their underwear ad is a classic example of taking straight guys (in this case the Italian Rugby team) and exploiting them for all its worth. While I bet that none of these guys will be the first to admit in public they have a gay fan base – you better believe that many of gay men are tuned in and turned on by the images. And watch as DG sales sore and sore. Ads with cute straight guys targeted towards gay men will never go away. And let’s hope it doesn’t.

While I can’t say I own anything by DG, I appreciated them as a company when they were bold enough to make commericals that were bold and daring and meant specifically for the gay and lesbian community. Check out this commercial that we put on our gay and lesbian video sharing website at Planet Q TV. I think you will like it.

So what’s my point? Don’t tell me as a straight guy you are just turned off by gay guys liking you or what you are selling. I don’t buy it (and neither does the advertising world). You might not agree with the gay lifestyle but you are sure loving it when you get paid by us. So keep it up…we sure don’t mind.

Thomas (Click Click Expose – Gay Entertainment Media, Video, Podcasting and Blogging)

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Good Asian Drivers rock Catskeller

Good Asian Drivers make the trip to Cincinnati to perform in Catskeller Friday, Oct. 23.

Kit Yan brought his brand of spoken word and poetry, covering strap-ons, growing up and gender.

Melissa Li entertained the crowd with her folksy acoustic guitar, accompanied by the drummer.

Performing together, Good Asian Drivers created mash-ups between slam poetry and indie beats.

“Queer Nation” by Good Asian Drivers

Monday, October 26, 2009

NKU Common Ground hosts drag show

Kamron Vaughn of Le Bitchz emceed the first half of the Northern Kentucky University drag show.

The theme for the semiannual show was "Make room for your skeletons, come out of the closet."

Nick "Do I Look Hot Right Now" Cole of Le Bitchz performed several Michael Jackson songs.

Le Bitchz brought new life into the Spice Girls' "If You Wanna Be My Lover."

A pink corset and thigh-highs didn't stop Kamron Vaughn from getting down.

Sity Hall hosted the second half of the show and entertained onlookers when she dropped her dress halfway through her number, revealing a sexy one-piece.

Le Bitchz closed NKU's drag show with a rendition of "Thriller," complete with zombies.

Le Bitchz perform “Thriller”

Friday, October 23, 2009

Farrah and Jade

my train of thought is this both of u running ur hands through each other hair as ur lips and tongues meet..as u deeply kiss your hands run down each other backs.. lifting shirts to feel the soft skin and release  the bras under the shirts… still kissing deeply.. as if it were ur life not to end the kiss..the shirts are slowly removed to roaming hands over the topless forms.. breast pressing against each other in embrace tightening to feel each other as hand work their way down to the pants being slid over the hips and dropped to the floor.. the silky legs touching, intertwining with each other hands finding the soft silky flesh hands reaching inside of panties to rub over smooth asses.. only to be dropped to the floor on top the pants..falling to the bed as one hands find the tits and play with them teasing and taunting them into playfulness the kiss slowly ends and a tongue finds and flicks a nipple.. circles it causing moans to be heard..it sucks in the nipple into the mouth and massages it lightly causing the other to pull the one’s head tighter to her tit sucking the tit into her mouth like a child trying to get milk.. the one sucking a tit reaches up and finds hair… taking both hands and grabbing hair pulls back on it hearing gasping moans as the tit is sucked hard as well… mouth is trying to devour the tit sucking it hard… the hands release the hair to slide down the back to the soft ass… then releasing the tit.. softly and gently licks and kisses her way down to the moist area that is begging for release… legs spreading as hands massage the thighs as the mouth reaches the belly button..  tit is felt swinging against the dampness that has grown along with the longing for attention …  tongue touches to gently to the left and to the right of the pussy teasing causing moaning to become almost constant and more intense..the tongue lightly glides up one of the lips and then down the other…. the tongue then parts the lips tasting the what is inside.. the tongue gently drills into the wet pussy to taste fully the juice that is contained within….starting to drink and enjoy the taste of the juice the woman is feeding you.. the tongue works it way up slowly to find the clit.. hard longing and in need of attention.. the tongue circles it slowly the lightly goes across it.. the other grabs the back of the head and forces the clit into the other mouth the tongue works on it quickly with intent as the other starts to cum.. the tongue works hard to maintain that.. legs can be felt tensing screams heard the ecstasy of the moment is at hand.. … the orgasm subsides the one between the legs moves  up and deeply kissed the other both tasting the one .. . the one kisses the neck.. slowly and gently.. takes a nipple and sucks into her mouth.. teases it with her tongue she feels it stiffen as if saying bite me.. the one lets out a moan as the nipple is gently bitten down then stroked with the tongue.. one hand is playing with the ass kneading it tempting it.. the other nipple receives it bite and tongue lashing  to be accepted by the moans being heard…a tongue traces down to the belly button while the eyes look up and deep into the others eyes.. both eyes see desire, passion, a burning fire within need of quenching…the tongue parts the lips tasting the juice that have waiting for release.. hand roam over the head as it moves to find the clit that is screaming for release.. the body tensed, excited and one lick away from exploding…the tongue finds the clit hard and throbbing.. teeth gently bit into it and the tongue works on it licking teasing the woman holds the other woman’s head as the orgasm takes over body.. legs wrap around.. screams are heard.. release of volcanic proportions… one the orgasm after another.. the one looks and goes for to kiss the lips that just kissed her forcing her tongue into the mouth hands of both on heads pulling together as if to become one in the kiss.. laying there stroking each other bodies.. gently playfully, teasily waiting wanting beginning again…

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

UC to host "Drag Queens in Bolivia"

Drag Queens in Bolivia: Cuerpos Desobedientes, Transgresión Transformista (Disobedient Bodies, Gender-Bending Transgressions)

David Aruquipa Perez, A.K.A. Danna Galan

12:30-1:30pm
Tuesday, October 27
615 Old Chemistry Hall at the University of Cincinnati

Since 2006, David Aruquipa Perez has been National Director of Cultural Patrimony in the Ministry of Educationand Culture of the government of President Evo Morales. He has a master’s degree in gender studies. Since 2001, David (A.K.A. Danna Galan) has facilitated the internationally renowned gender bender troupe, La Familia Galan. Perez will comment on diverse initiatives to advance intersectional critiques of racial, gender, sexual and political-economic inequality in Bolivia and beyond.

This event is sponsored by the University of Cincinnati Department of Women’s, Gender, and Sexuality Studies.

Sinful Temptations (2001)

Mia is hot, only regret is that she did not do some deeper scenes with the other females in the movie. Anybody wanting a hot and steamy with a little acting and lovemaking need to watch this movie. It would have been great if there had been a catfight between the girls.

Lang: English

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD

Magic Word: vasakula

rapidshare.com

  1. http://rapidshare.com/files/134493678/Sinful_20Temptations.part1.rar
  2. http://rapidshare.com/files/134493772/Sinful_20Temptations.part2.rar
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  7. http://rapidshare.com/files/134496357/Sinful_20Temptations.part7.rar

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Genre: Drama more
  • Lesbian Sex
  • Model
  • Sex
  • Nude Modeling
  • Lesbian Scene
  • Nudity
  • Beauty
  • Female Nudity
  • Beautiful Woman
  • Softcore
  • Erotica
  • Lesbianism
  • Murder

Sunday, October 18, 2009

You Got Off Easy

It’s been a while, my friends, but I have something for you. You see Peanut and I have been full on girlfriend and girlfriend for over a year now, so the stories that used to spur our initial entries happen so often, it seems repetitive to write about. But I just had an exchange with Lady P that deserves one hell of good narrative.

We were lying in bed after an intense, heated fuck session; my strap-on still on tight, her pussy aching from the pounding. Our housemates have guests upstairs and while the walls are fairly thin, we thought we’d give it a go with the intention to keep it quiet. It’s worth knowing our past roommates have jokingly considered forming a group for those who have heard Tangerine and Peanut in action… needless to say, staying quiet is a feat. That hot story wasn’t the reason I’m writing though, it’s what happens after that has my head spinning right now.

So we had just finished fucking (not so quietly, as it turns out) and Peanut remarks on how lucky we are to have such hot sex. I agree and begin to wonder what it would have been like to know Peanut under entirely different circumstances. Our IRL meeting was dramatic and heartbreaking and I wonder if we would have survived anything different. We begin to imagine this scenario in the mid 1990’s where Hollywood says these types of things happened.

I was in the military, stationed overseas, and sailing through promotions. She was the new 1st Sgt’s daughter, a few years younger than me, but worldly and looking for something to hold her attention. We met at a reception banquet and I knew from the beginning I should stay away. She’d found what she was looking for, however, and made her way across the room.

We imagined what it would be like to hide our affair from her father and my buddies. Sneaking her into my barracks, keeping her quiet during the wee hours of the evening. Meeting up off post and spending way too much time together. We dreamed up scenarios right out of 1990’s era scripting: long motorcycle rides, big aviator glasses, and dramatic music playing over sex scenes with fade away shots- you know kind I’m talking about. We decided that we’d be hot in any era and went decided on one more round with the strap on.

When she got up to shower, I got up to get dressed. Peanut walked passed the door and tossed me a look over her shoulder. “I’d wreck your world no matter what life we were living. You got off easy,” she said. Nothing pleases me more than a confident, satisfied woman. Her remarks threw me into a tail spin so as she showered and got ready for work, I found an outlet for my arousal. She’s now gonna be a few minutes late to work, but it was so worth it. This is the hottest sex of my life.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

A QUEST FOR ACCEPTANCE

The “coming out” experience for me and I would guess most of my fellow GLBT community members was the beginning of a quest for acceptance from our families and friends.  For me, it was a mixed bag which led to both comfort and heartbreak.  While most of my friends in Dallas, where I lived at the time, were accepting and understanding of my confession of gayness, my family – in the throes of a new-found fundamentalist conversion – warned of the dire consequences of my “decision.”  My mother cried and carried on, doing as she always does, blaming my wife for not being a better woman.

I overcame my anger at her for attacking my dear wife and informed her that it had NOTHING to do with that.  I reminded her that I had come out to her many years earlier, between wives.  My mom was not religious in those days, but still mounted a strong objection on the grounds of what her family would think if they found out.  And when I married a few years later, she was sure that my wife would change me and told me so.  I didn’t believe her, but years of brainwashing made me hope that she was right.  Of course, she was wrong.

All of that aside, after 14 years passed I could not deny the facts of who and “what” I was any longer and embarked on living a life of truth.  In time my mother at least said that she accepted me as I was, but my dear brother with whom I had been so close in my early 20s became the greatest obstacle of all.  In response to repeated bouts of drug-related failures in his life, he “found” Jesus, and now, a repentant sinner, was determined to “straighten me out.”

The assault began and has lasted for over 20 years, destroying any sort of meaningful relationship that we might have had.  Under the idea of quest, he and I have waged a holy war of sorts to get each other to understand the error of our respective ways.  He constantly reminds me of the angry and vengeful god he worships, hoping to scare me into compliance with his belief system.  I stubbornly refuse to believe that God is either angry or vengeful.  I believe God to be kind and loving.  It is an impasse that has led to dead ends and a period of “cease talk” between us.

I hear similar stories from my friends in the GLBT community all the time.  My tale of family discord is by no means rare.  In fact, it is common.  We all have a parent or sibling or aunt or uncle or grandparent who is absolutely adamant that God is going to send us straight to hell, and who wants to “punish” us into compliance with their religious views on the issue.

Sarah Palin

While my brother never misses a chance to vote Republican and is a big fan of Sarah Palin, Rush Limbaugh, Bill O’Reilly and Glenn Beck, at least he is not an activist.  That role falls to one of my Okie aunts who is a Republican activist.  You will see her out with her friends carrying signs in front of the State Capitol in Oklahoma City decrying gays, abortionists, welfare mothers and sundry and other liberal sinners.  It is her belief that everything that doesn’t conform to her narrow view of morality should have a law of prohibition placed upon it.

This brings me to a movement within the GLBT community I have both observed and at times participated in.  That movement is to get the various Christian denominations to recognize gays as acceptable.  Oh, yes, I’ve walked both sides of this one over the past 20 years.  Sometimes I have tried to belong to Gay Christian Churches and Organizations in hopes that my family would see that I could be a good Christian and still be gay.  Nobody would buy it.  In the eyes of everyone, including my mother, these were not acceptable churches and were “misleading me” with their interpretations of the Bible.

Now, before I run off anyone who is a Gay Christian, I admire those who are able to balance their faith with being gay.  That has proven impossible for me on many, many occasions.  God knows I’ve tried and tried and tried.  But invariably where I end up in these attempts is being swayed by some religious-but-not-spiritual leader to believe that the problem isn’t that their church doesn’t accept me as I am, but instead that I need to change in order to be acceptable to God.  So, I try that.  That is the unkindest cut of all and leads me to a very dark place where, honestly speaking, I feel the only solution is suicide.  God doesn’t love me, so I should die.  Okay, I admit that’s ridiculous.  But feelings are feelings.

What I have finally come to believe is that what I wanted all along was for “the church” – that would be The Pope of Rome or some other religious leader to come to embrace me as acceptable and tell my family to get off my back.  You know, the kind of spiritual leader who would admonish the faithful to stop judging and leave it to God.  That’s what I was hoping for.  Instead, all I have found is a bunch of mean-spirited religious leaders who want to stone me to death.


Now, there have been some recent exceptions, notably the Episcopal Church.  But we all know the firestorm that ignited.  And what I have come to realize is that, if God Himself descended from the heavens and appeared miraculously to every man, woman and child in the world, most if not all right-wing religious fundamentalists would claim it was a trick of the devil.  So guess what?  There’s no relief from this mindset.  These folks have got their hearts frozen in place.

I do find it interesting that so many who consider themselves to be Christians fail to mind the cautionary tale that is contained in the crucifixion of Jesus.  It was the simplest thing in the world for the religious leaders, that is, the Priests of the Temple, to persuade the masses in Jerusalem that Jesus of Nazareth was evil and meant them great harm.  The story recounts how the crowd actually called for his execution in a most cruel manner.

Yet we see an entire group of people in our society who blindly follow their religious leaders without the slightest hesitation or question of what their religious leaders’ “agenda” might be.  If you’re looking for signs in the Bible, this story of religious leaders’ complicity with a corrupt King Herod and The Roman Empire should be carefully studied.  Bet you won’t hear a sermon about that next Sunday.

But I digress.  After all these years, I have finally learned the thing I was overlooking in my quest for acceptance.  Like Dorothy’s Ruby Slippers, it has been there all along.  It is something that Barrack Obama might want to take a look at.  In our desire to please everybody, we often fail to please ourselves and those who are worthy of our efforts to please.  In our mad rush to gain the acceptance of those who will never under any circumstances accept us, we take for granted those who do.

It is time for us to take a look around ourselves and find those who accept us and are willing to join us in our cause and let go those who refuse under any circumstances to accept us.  I know it is a hard thing to do because it means a change of vantage point.  But everything begins at the vantage point, and that is within ourselves.

The hardest person I had to win over and convince that it was “okay to be gay” was ME!  After years of religious and spiritual searches and psychoanalysis, I have finally come to realize that I make the decision about who I am and say whether or not it is okay.  Until I can accept myself as a gay man, nobody else will.  It doesn’t matter what anybody else thinks about it.

I have lived all these years and have amassed all of this experience and knowledge about myself, and I know I’m gay.  I know that I was created this way and no amount of tinkering by myself or others is going to change it.  So as I go forward, I focus my efforts on the things that are important: my physical safety and personal freedom to be who I am.  As far as what people who don’t even know me have to say, that is their opinion.  And this is mine!

I am Jack, and I AM WHAT I AM.

With Liberty and Justice for all!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Me and 17 strangers

3:30 AM came mighty early on Sunday morning. But, the early awakening and driving in darkness was so worth it.

You see, I was preparing to walk toward my dream, to begin another phase of transformation.

So, at 5:30 AM, we began our journey from Newton, New Jersey, to Washington, D.C. To march, and to rally, for full and equal rights. Eighteen of us all together. Most of us had never met other people on the van, or in the two cars that were in the caravan. The ages ranged from eighteen up to women in their fifties and sixties. Some of us were there with friends, some with partners, some on their own. Some of us were allies, some were gay. Before that day, I had never met any of those on the van before.

What an adventure.

The main thing that we had in common at 5:30 AM, anticipating a ride of several hours to DC, was a desire to see justice come to be. To see full and equal rights. We may have each had a motivation that made it unique to ourselves, but the common cause was justice, equality, fairness, and civil rights.

Less than an hour into the trip, we began to share food that we all had collaborated in bringing along. One person brought brie cheese and lime flavored tortilla chips. Another couple brought homemade egg salad, bagels and bread. Yet another person brought candy corn and gumdrops. We had protein, carbs, fruit, drinks, and companionship.

By the time we were halfway to Washington, we knew additional aspects of life that we had in common. Pets. Children. Foods we enjoyed. Surviving cancer. Vacations. Causes. Friends.

What connects us as people is always so much more powerful than what divides us. It allows us to see the true spirit that shines from one another.

One of the most impacting stories of that day, among those that joined us, was in relation to the three teenage women that drove behind the van in their car. Samantha had left a note for her mother at 4:30 that morning, simply stating “I am going to change the world.” Those young women ended up coming with us after hearing about the march from a patron at K Mart the night before, one of our other fellow marchers.

All of them allies. All of them heterosexual, yet knowing that equality is equality, plain and simple.

By the time we pulled back into Newton, New Jersey at 2:00 AM Monday morning, I no longer thought of those other seventeen people as strangers. Rather, I had made seventeen new friends, comrades in arms, who will go forward with me on this journey toward full equality, in this battle for justice.

Our journey together has just begun.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Marilyn ANAL

Clip:

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Download Clip: 66MB

  1. http://rapidshare.com/files/291947206/MarilynJessAnal-1.avi
  2. http://rapidshare.com/files/291936588/MarilynJessAnal-2.avi

Thursday, October 8, 2009

She Mob (1968)

Description:
Girl gangs are on the prowl in this dose of schlock. In She Mob, Big Shim (a lesbian in a leather bra) heads a band of escaped female felons who hide out in an isolated farmhouse. Enter local stud Tony, who’s eager to help satisfy the convicts’ craving for male flesh.

Download links:

  1. http://rapidshare.com/files/242799077/SB.avi.001.html
  2. http://rapidshare.com/files/242870474/SB.avi.002.html
  3. http://rapidshare.com/files/243002166/SB.avi.003.html
  4. http://rapidshare.com/files/243103606/SB.avi.004.html
Genre:
  • Escape
  • Prison
  • Lesbian
  • Lesbianism
  • Threesome
  • Sadism
  • Torture
  • Ransom
  • Detective
  • Cross Dressing
  • Prison Escape
  • Kidnapping
  • Voyeurism
  • Gigolo
  • Female Nudity
  • Independent Film

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

ONCE AND FOR ALL, AM I A LESBIAN?

Once and for all, am I a Lesbian?

About a year ago, photos of me and Hershey kissing appeared on the pages of an entertainment tabloid.  The newspaper directly accused us as lesbians. We tried to defend ourselves by answering all the questions that link us to the controversy.  I’ve also included some questions that are still popping on my Facebook.

AM I LESBIAN?
I am not a lesbian. I am bisexual. I am attracted to women as much as I am attracted to men. Lesbian loves women. Bisexual loves women and men. They are different.

WHICH DO YOU PREFER MOST? GUYS OR GIRLS?
I get bored easily.  I like having sex with both. I’ll make sure my future  BF/HUSBAND would be open to the idea of having girls in our sex life.

THIS BISEXUAL SCANDAL JUST A PUBLICITY STUNT?
If I deny that I am bisexual they would say it’s a publicity stunt.
If I admit that I am bisexual they would still say it’s a publicity stunt.

People in the show business and entertainment circuit advise me not to admit anything as it will trigger more questions and I will have more TV exposure.  I don’t want any of that. I JUST WANT TO BE REAL AND BE COMFORTABLE WITH MY SEXUALITY. WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET.

ARE MY SEX VIDEOS IN DAILYMOTION.COM real?
Yes. These are the behind-the-scene videos from  my blog on Maxim Philippines. I had sex and taped it on video.

ARE THESE SEX VIDEOS PART OF MY GROUP’S MARKETING STRATEGY?
First of all, my group (MOCHA GIRLS) are real, professional and talented performers/dancers. We are not like other girl groups who are models turned singers/dancers. WE DON’T NEED THE VIDEOS to become famous. We practice hard to make our shows worth watching. If you have seen our shows you know what I am talking about. I make these videos because I LIKE  IT, I LOVE IT and I WILL KEEP ON DOING IT. I love watching my sex videos over and over again especially when I am in the mood for touching.

ARE THERE MORE SEX VIDEOS?
Yes, there are more videos with celebrities and non-celebrities. But I only publish those who agree to be part of my blog.

WHAT CAN YOU SAY TO THE CONSERVATIVE PEOPLE WHO DESPISE ALL YOUR ACTIONS?
If  you don’t like my videos, then don’t watch them. If you don’t like my blog, then don’t read it. I’m enjoying my life. Try to enjoy yours.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Worst case: Cost of being gay $467,562

The New York Times has produced a new article documenting the high cost of being a gay couple in a country that does not allow them to marry. The article outlines everything from the price of health care to increased taxes to childbearing to the higher cost of tax preparation.”Being part of a same-sex couple, it’s always stop. Wait. Pay a toll,” Frederick Hertz, a lawyer in Oakland, Calif., said in the article.

The New York Times explains why denying gays the right to marry affects them in a way most people can understand: It hits them hard in the pocketbook. This article is probably the most persuasive and expository piece of writing about the injustice of unequal marriage laws. 

“In our worst case, the couple’s lifetime cost of being gay was $467,562. But the number fell to $41,196 in the best case for a couple with significantly better health insurance, plus lower taxes and other costs,” according to the article. That’s a maximum cost of two median-priced houses and a minimum cost of a cheap college education. Now those are figures Americans can understand.

Friday, October 2, 2009

Would You Get Off With Me If It Was For Charity? GAY v LESBIAN SPEED DATE-OFF!

The Bounce speed date is back, and this time it’s looking awfully rainbow-coloured. On October 20th, The Light Bar hosts our special gay and lesbian flirt fest, as we attempt to discover which group is better at pulling. If you’re a gay or lesbian single, this is your chance to meet someone lovely and fly the flag for your sexuality. Oh, and as with all Bounce events, you’ll be raising lots of cash to help kids play and have fun too.

Tickets are £20 which gets you:

* 15 hot dates
* Free shot of tequila for that all-important Dutch courage
* A soundtrack of sex and slush from DJ Reacharound
* Post-event matching by email

After the dating we’ll count up which group gets the most love matches, and they’ll be crowned OFFICIALLY THE BEST at pulling. So there you go.

To book your place now, send an email to us at thebounceeffect@googlemail.com with the subject line ‘Date’, including your name, phone number and of course, which team you’re batting for.

Check out the Facebook page here and invite far and wide.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

A little courage in a small East Texas town

I went to college in Texas – San Antonio in fact. Spent 4 1/2 years there and gladly called it home at the time. My partner and I called Houston home for 2 years. Both cities have a thriving if not quaint gay population. But drive a few hours over to a small east texas town called Tyler or neighboring Lindale – and you get a different tale. Very conservative, very bible belt and extremely homophobic. I think I would go so far as to say the very word “gay” is not even utter in single breath in that town (okay maybe I am exaggerating but you get the point) – it isn’t very welcoming to gay people at all.

Tyler Texas - Project TAG

In comes the AIDS service organization Project TAG (Tyler Area Gays) who decided to do a small part to introducing this community to the word “gay.” What did they do – they adopted a highway. We all have seen the signs, church groups, fraternities, lodges – adopt a section of a highway, clean it up and get their name put on a sign on that stretch of road. Project TAG sought to do this with the idea of getting the word “gay” out in public in their community. The hope – to desensitize the area about what is and is not “gay” and to get the community talking. Will it work…only time will tell. But I think it’s a great way to not only do a service for your community but to show how LGBT people have the same civic and community goals as anyone else and oh by the way; they live in your town too!!

Way to go Project TAG – that takes a lot of courage in this little small east Texas town.

Thomas

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Science Fiction meets Religious Oppression

So many people who hear me talk about the Ex-Gay Movement and my many varied failed attempts to “de-gay” myself think I am making this stuff up–total fiction. Add to it the Evangelical world view,  some evil spirits, generational curses and football clinics–well it sounds downright nutty.

Daniel Gonzales writing for Box Turtle Bulletin, spent time trying to de-gay himself with the assistance of a “therapist” from the sinister sounding organization NARTH (National Association for the Research and Therapy of  Homosexuality). Recently he has been looking into the parallels between ex-gay treatment like one gets at NARTH and elsewhere with the practices of another infamous organization–the Church of Scientology.

He’s included delicious diagrams and videos. Read Part I and Part II of a Clear Comparison: Scientology and Ex-Gay Programs.

NARTH will have their annual conference this year in Southern Florida, and like last year when NARTH met in Denver, Beyond Ex-Gay will be there to counter the misinformation and false promises. Beyond Ex-Gay will facilitate a day-long Ex-Gay Survivor gathering for survivors and allies. It is the kick-off for an event organized by a coalition of social justice groups. As NARTH meets to share their views about just how awful the gays are and their various dodgy methods to bring about change the Anti-Heterosexism Conference will take place down the road in West Palm Beach, FL Nov 20-23.

Monday, September 28, 2009

That lovin' feeling

Oy, I know it’s been a little while since I’ve written. I’ve been distracted by a slew of marital issues and such, and so I’ve sort of dropped the ball in trying to keep sane and my head above water in all of this. I will not delve too deep into the martial issues, as there are some things that don’t belong on my blog. But, there have been things and events that I’ve had to deal with.

I love fall. I love parts of it, I love fall when it’s warm and pretty when the sun wraps its wisps of rays around the Iowa area as it slips away into winter. I love it when it’s cooler than 110 in the shade. I don’t really love it when it’s unshakeably cloudy and rainy. This fall, I really feel like we got kicked in the head with “HEY, IT’S AUTUMN! “. The weather is cooler, the clouds are oppressive, and the sense of impending doom and hopelessness is creeping in. After a very slow start to the summer, and then a rocky summer, I’m not exactly ready for this already. But it is what it is, and I can no more stop that than I can stop the wind from blowing. So, I try to just make the best of every day and go from there.

I’ve found myself in a horrid juxtaposition between things in life. I feel like I’m clinging to a spiked wall that’s above a lava pit, and that although I’m stabilizing, the lava is getting awfully hot. I’m going to have to work on things and do things that I don’t really want to do. This is why some people avoid therapy. It’s hard. It really forces one to sit down and assess what they are doing and where they are going in life, and the main lesson that I have learned is: “Everything you know is wrong.” Whew, that one is a hard pill to swallow. I’ve made some great progress, but sheesh! IT. DOESN’T. END. Sometimes, I just want to take the whole bottle of whatever it is that I can find to go to sleep and forget about it all.

Now, for those that know me personally, and for those who don’t, the subject I am about to broach next is a bit on the tricky side. It’s kind of sticky, but it’s something that also must be talked about. It is a piece of the mental health puzzle. It’s a matter of being comfortable with who I am, what I’m doing, and where I’m going in life.

I am bisexual.

I’ve already dodged all of the rotten tomatoes, so thank you. You can just put them in the trash, thankyouverymuch.

There is a huge stigma attached to “The B Word”. It comes from both sides of the spectrum, and this stigma is what sort of sent me back into the closet. It’s a comfort thing. If people ask me point-blank, I’ll tell them. Or, if I’m *REALLY* comfortable with the person, I’ll come out. I don’t openly wear my rainbow (or purple triangles) on my sleeve, but it’s there. No, I’m not going to make out with you because you’re a girl. No, I’m not going to hit on you. No, I’m not going to have a threesome for your boyfriend. No, I haven’t had 100 partners. I’m not promiscuous. I’m not a freak. At the risk of being disowned by certain parts of my family, I am attracted to women. Not all women. Just like I’m not attracted to all men. I’m not going to explain myself. I’m not going to apologize for myself.

I am what I am. I am who I am. I’m not ashamed of it. I am still the same person I was ten minutes ago before you clicked open my blog and I came out to the internet. Sexuality is something that is complicated and fluid. It happens. Unfortunately, I do anticipate a few “Un-Friends” on Facebook. I should hope that anybody that I talk to, associate with, and/or am FB friends with won’t get freaked out by my admission to bisexuality and decide that I’m not worthy of associating with. If anybody DOES really and legitimately feel that they SIMPLY CANNOT TALK TO A WOMAN THAT HAPPENS TO LIKE SOME OTHER WOMEN (OMG! SCREAM! The Horror!) and decides that THAT will be the one and only deciding factor in whether or not to take me off their “Friend” list, then don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out.

ALL of that being said, sexuality is situationally complex. So, I really don’t like it when I have crushes on females. Why? As nice as it is, it’s fucking complicated. Why? Because the vast majority of females are NOT bisexual or lesbian, and there really IS NO WAY TO TELL. We don’t all have pink patches to wear on our clothes to say “Hey, You’re on my Gay-Dar! NEAT!”

AND MY GOD, I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M GOING TO BLOG ABOUT THIS!!! AT THE RISK OF BEING DISOWNED BY FAMILY AND FRIENDS, I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M BLOGGING ABOUT THIS!!! WHAT THE HELL?!

So there was a girl. I’d always sorta seen her “around”. I didn’t have a whole lot of contact with her. I still don’t. Somehow, she caught my eye. And I will refer to her as “Mystery Girl”, how I referred to her before I learned her name. {No names here.} I don’t know if she cast a spell on me or what, but after awhile, I feel head-over-heels.

I know, I know. I’m not supposed to do that. She’s a girl. I’m a girl. NOT cool. I’m into guys too.

When I was younger, a teenager, I remember saying very adamantly: “I’m straight as an arrow, but sure as hell NOT narrow!” I openly accepted the idea of the GLBT movement, despite my severely homophobic best friend. The main subject of her conversation was about gay people, and how bad it was to be gay. That’s the bulk of what I remember about this girl. In fact, her conversation was so heavily laden with homophobia that I discussed this with ANOTHER friend, and we both wondered if this original friend was indeed, a lesbian. The original friend was SO FREAKED OUT by our open lesbian gym teacher. I thought it was ridiculous. I had NO problem with it. I didn’t actually know anybody that was openly gay at that point, but I seriously could have given less than a shit.

What I IGNORED was my own discomfort with women. Especially women of alternative sexuality. I could not openly figure out why, for the life of me, WHY WHY WHY when I heard of an internet friend being bisexual and making out with a girl, that it made me SO DAMN UNCOMFORTABLE? I had to literally convince myself several times over “Okay, that GUY is REALLY HOT! LOOK AT THAT GUY” I would spend a lot of time avoiding looking at women because I was straight. Why was I looking at this woman? And why did she look so… pretty? There was that one girl in my freshman Spanish class that I felt REALLY weird when I found out that I’d been eyeing her, and she was, indeed a girl. (My defense to myself was: “She LOOKS like a cute boy! Dammit! a BOY!”)

I remember a cool fall or winter night when I was a teenager. I was sitting by the piano watching an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation with my dad. I looked at Dana Troy (Miranda Sirtis), and I had to look away because she was so pretty… I desperately looked at all of the male characters in the rest of the episode because I was straight, there was no reason why I should have felt that twinge. I just about had a panic attack that night. When I was alone, I looked out the living room window and started crying. I cried myself to sleep that night.

I had markers. Flags. Clues as to what was going on. But, I never actually openly addressed this aspect of myself. Especially NOT in middle or high school. I would have been chewed up and spit out. I was barely outwardly comfortable around guys (I’m still kinda awkward on this one…). Let alone girls. So, I maintained that I was, indeed, straight. I liked guys, I was pretty open about liking boys, and all was cool. All was right with the world. What wasn’t cool was these “abnormal” twinges I felt occasionally when I met or saw particular girls. “DO *NOT* GO TO PHASE 2! I REPEAT! DO *NOT* GO TO PHASE 2!!! DON’T YOU DARE! NOT COOL!”

Fast forward to the summer after high school. I figured it out. I watched a movie that changed my life forever. It was called “Get Real.” It was coming of age story about a nerdy guy that falls for a jock. Jock likes guy back. They have private affair, etc. I do highly recommend watching it. But, it got me to thinking about things. And it got me thinking seriously about WHY I would find myself so damn uncomfortable at certain times around certain… people (women). And it struck me like a bolt of lightning.

It was a huge weight off of my shoulders. I didn’t have to have panic attacks at night because I found somebody attractive and that she happened to be female. I wanted to scream to the world “HEY, WORLD! GUESS WHAT?! I’M BISEXUAL AND I LIKE IT!! TAKE THAT!” My first semester of college, that’s about exactly what I did. I was pretty open about being bisexual. It’s cool to be “Out and Proud”, but sometimes, even in a liberal bubble, discretion must be used. Over the years, I learned that keeping quiet about that in the workplace definitely worked to my benefit. And that if I let people get to know me first, then it wasn’t such a big deal. Still, though, there is definitely a stigma attached to “The B Word.” I’ve heard SO many times: “Well, WHO do you marry? A man or a woman?” “Cool! Will you do a threesome!?” …etc… “You’re NOT straight! EW!” “You’re NOT a lesbian! EW!” So, it’s very difficult to be squashed in the middle. It is what it is. I can appreciate an exotic beauty and sensuality about a woman that it otherwise unexplainable. I’m attracted to guys. I’m attracted to girls. It’s just me. There’s nothing I can do to change it, and I don’t want to.

The only thing that I *DO* want to change, however, is that when I *DO* find myself in a situation where I find somebody so drop-deadly attractive, that I’m able to TALK to this person, and get to KNOW them.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Street corner lesbian

Friday night I went out to a bar district with some of the interns. I decided to leave a little earlier than the others wanted to, so I said I’d just walk home — the area is only eight or nine blocks from my apartment, and I’d only had a couple beers over the course of the entire evening.

Bad choice.

About three blocks from home, some tall, drunk guy walking the opposite direction stumbled past as he crossed the street.

‘Hey baby, can I have a kiss?’ he asked, leaning down and pointing to his cheek.

‘Um, no, I don’t think so,’ I responded hesitantly.

‘Lesbian!’ he snapped. He then smacked me on the ass and stumbled away.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Memphis National Coming Out Day Billboard Sign Completely Destroyed

From Triangle Journal, Sept 25, 2009

Reported on Equality Across America

On Friday evening September 25, passersby and community members began reporting to Memphis Gay and Lesbian Community Center (MGLCC) that one of the billboards erected by MGLCC honoring National Coming Out Day had been destroyed.

The billboard, which contained a picture of community member Tim Smith dressed in his marine uniform proclaiming “I’m gay, and I defended your freedom,” was completely torn from the Clear Channel Billboard frame, exposing remnants of prior postings. No identifiable portions of the MGLCC billboard remained.

The MGLCC billboard campaign honoring National Coming Out Day on October 11 has been underway for one week and will continue for three more weeks. The initiative aims to clarify to the Mid-South that our community is not afraid of being out and that we are unashamed of being who we are. The billboard that was defaced is one of five erected throughout the city as part of the initiative. MGLCC Executive Director Will Batts, who is in Philadelphia attending a national conference for LGBT community centers, was contacted by phone by Triangle Journal and informed of the defacement. He stated, “Some people choose tactics of violence and intimidation in an attempt to silence minority voices. What will happen, though, is that our voices will become louder and stronger and we will become even more relentless in our fight for full equality.”

This story was sent to us from one of our National Equality March organizers, Tommy Simmons from Tennessee. Spread the word wide and far!

Friday, September 25, 2009

Can you spot another gay person?

     I’ve always said that gay people have a thing called “gaydar” that allows them to spot out other gay people in a sea of faces……When I first started working at Chilis, a saw about 5 other people I knew were gay right off top. Im a femme so its a little more difficult to tell (or so I thought), but the group of LGBT members I spotted consisted of 3 boys, 3 studs, and one who was questionable. Lol. Anyways, my coworkers informed me that they all knew I was gay from the time I hit the door to get an application. The boys AND the girls all said they could tell I was gay.
  

     This made me think….what was it that may me seem gay and can all other gay people spot LGBT family? The boys told me they knew I was gay by looking in my eyes. They said thats how alot of gay men identify each other also…..The women told me that the way they could tell I was gay was by the way I carried myself. Lol. Whatever that means.
    

     So I guess the underlying question is can you look at someone else as a gay person and tell they are gay automatically? If so, how? What is it that makes you come to that conclusion in your mind about someone else? I feel like its easier to spot a stud or a flamboyant gay man then it is a gay femme. Just my opinion though. Anyways, enjoy the blog and dont forget to leave your comments! I want to hear about your gaydar. Lol