Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Monday, February 22, 2010
Olympic Overload.
Curling and cocktails. That’s how I spent yesterday evening.
Tonight it’s laundry and speed skating.
These women have some serious thigh muscles.
The curlers, not so much.
In fact, I’ve been saying all week curling is the one Olympic sport I might have been able to attempt. It’s like a board game on ice. Honestly — I’m not entirely sure what’s good vs. bad — I just get all excited based on the tone of the screaming (since it’s often not in English, that’s iffy).
I’ll have a better post soon. It’s been a whirlwind couple of weeks emotion wise — and blogging isn’t coming easy.
For now — back to Vancouver.
Friday, February 19, 2010
to them, they're light-colored jeans. to us, they're acid-washed.
is it just me or are you overcome with a wave of nausea upon seeing these jeans? one word for you kids: don't.
in keeping with my i’m-old-now theme, i’m going to rant a little bit about today’s jeans.
i saw a girl on the street today wearing the worst jeans. she was probably a teenager. it wasn’t the cut (skinny, of course) so much as the color. ew, acid-washed jeans, i thought. barf-o. i have a visceral, knee-jerk reaction to acid-washed jeans (see above). i’m not saying middle school was the worst time in my life, but it certainly wasn’t the best. and being in the presence of acid-washed jeans. no no no. let me rephrase that: being in the presence of actual people wearing acid-washed jeans–versus, say, seeing them balled up in the corner of a dirty thrift shop–makes me feel a little…well quite frankly it makes me feel nauseous. i take one look at them and i’m whoosed back to 1980s north jersey. it’s like a friggin time warp and it ain’t pretty. some things are meant to leave in the past. acid-washed jeans are one of those things.
then suddenly it dawned on me: that girl probably has no idea she’s wearing super-cheesy jeans. to even be familiar with acid-washed jeans (unless you’re in fashion school or something), you need to be in your late late 20s and over.
“babe,” i said to holly. (we were sitting at a red light.) “see that girl in the bad jeans? she has no idea she’s wearing acid-washed jeans. to her, they’re just light-colored. but to us, they’re acid-washed.”
“i hate acid-washed jeans,” she said.
they were bad enough the first time around. oh and do you guys remember “tapered” jeans. that you pegged? today’s skinny jeans are just tapered jeans on steroids. now if people start wearing pouffy socks over them, then we have a real problem. and speaking of bad 80s fashion…if those stores that spin the paint around the t-shirts start coming back, i’m leaving the country. that and sarah palin in office. we’re outty here.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
SUCK IT NERDS...Liz Lemon err ahh Tina Fey on VOGUE !!!
THAT’S RIGHT: America’s sweetheart and the #1 Sarah Palin look-a-like since … SARAH PALIN … is on the cover … of the March issue … of VOGUE ?!
Say whaaaaaaaat?!
Here’s what happened:
Was looking at the ol’ inbox, saw a message from “Tina Fey, Vogue”, did a DOUBLE-TAKE.
Tina Fay...that Prada dress matches the lettuce in your hair !!!
I personally feel like sending her a congratulatory basket filled with Twinkies, Devil Dogs, Skittles, Raisinetes, Twizzlers, 12 oz. Coca~Cola, Jamaican Beef Patty, Pop Rocks and a cardboard tray with 12 Dirty Water Dogs from her favorite NYC push-cart.
Somewhere in the world the following is happening:
1. Jack is thinking, “Ah, just another FEMININE MAGIC moment” but also wanting to know why she didn’t perch herself on a GE Mocrowave Oven…Damn you Lemon !!!
2. The Lesbian Cat Wrangler is lining her litter box with the very pages of the worlds fashion bible. One glossy page at a time.
3. Jenna is FREAKING OUT…Standing on the ledge of her 27th floor balcony…ready to jump, when she looks over and spots a pigeon eating muffin crumbs. Her No. 1 (in Israel) an No. 4 (in Belgium) hit single, “Muffin Top” comes to mind and she realizes how important she and her music are to the world…Off the ledge she comes !
4. Tracy…well Tracy ain’t doin’ shit about it. A brotha like him don’t read upitty fashion rags…unless you mean UPITTY as in remove the UP and replace it with a T. Now that kinda magazine, Tracy Morgan will gladly acknowledge.
Here’s what “TINA” wrote:
“Some things you will only see once in your lifetime. This March, I will be on the cover of Vogue …
If you’ve always wondered what it would be like if the talented people of Prada, Gucci, Dolce & Gabanna, and Vogue gave your forty-year-old sister-in-law a makeover, then this is the issue for you. “
But seriously…Tina Fay is a woman of her craft…
7 Emmy Awards
3 Golden Globes
4 Screen Actors Guild Awards
4 Writers Guild of America Award
2008 Associated Press Entertainer of the Year Award
She is the former Head Writer for SNL, screenwriter- Mean Girls and Baby Mama (we all have done something wack) and of course 30 Rock, which she STARS, WRITES, PRODUCES and ROCKS !!!
Some behind the scenes of her SHUT UP AND VOGUE moments. It looks like an episode of Gossip Girl !!!
In the words of Rupaul, “Giiiiirlfriend, you betta WERK !!! “
Tina’s Power List:
Power Couple: Hillary Clinton & Jay-Z
Power Outfit: Big shoulders, deeeep V, hot pants and roller blades
SOME LIZ LEMON MOMENTS:
Siiick!
Monday, February 15, 2010
A Year to the Day
A year ago yesterday I broke up with my last ever boyfriend, so though I am very much single this Valentine’s Day I consider it a celebratory anniversary of sorts. Though I had never done anything to ummm…., cultivate? my interest in women I had been open with him (the ex) about it, identifying at the time as bisexual. He was, as so many piggish men are, fascinated by it– whenever possible he brought up the possibility of me making out/hooking up with another girl, in his presence of course or the ultimate: a threesome with me and another girl. (I would like to take a moment to clarify the latter was never a possibility, whether or not he could acknowledge that reality.) Anyway, back to a year and a week ago, he finally succeeded. We spent the evening with another couple (close friends of mine) and a few too many games into the evening, my friend and I ended up making out… The ex and I broke up a week later 
It would only be fair to clarify that I did not walk away from this relationship with brilliant clarity as to my sexual orientation. I still identified as bisexual for a while (throughout the relationship with the first girl and then the second) and it wasn’t until an unfortunate kiss with a male colleague that the lesbian bells started ringing. However, I am still going to attribute much of my transitional period to the end of that last terrible, terrible, relationship. Which brings us to– the celebration! So regardless of the fact that I’m single, and regardless of the fact that I’ve spent the bulk of this holiday doing homework (ugh), today is a happy day. Today I remember my last day of imprisonment (the imprisonment of my inner self that is– I’m glad he’s an ex but he wasn’t evil) and the first days of my venture towards freedom.
Happy Valentine’s Day everyone! I hope that today, whether you’re with someone or not, you’re the you that you’ve always wanted to be!
Monday, February 8, 2010
Andrea and Harvey
Andrea and Harvey talk about having a gay daughter and what their reactions were when she first came out. Both Andrea and Harvey are extremely supportive of their daughter, Becca, and never had any doubts about her capabilities. Their take on having a gay child is, unfortunately, not very common, but they hope to inspire other parents to have an open mind and create a dialogue with their sons and daughters. The bottom line for them is that love and health always prevails when it comes to children. If your child is healthy and happy, their sexuality should not be an issue. Andrea and Harvey are remarkable in their strength, candor, and compassion. Parents everywhere should follow their lead and provide their children with the love, support, and understanding that they deserve.
"Vero we are with you and the dream"
Lesbians worldwide (myself included) have gone gaga (not Lady) for Sarah & Veronica. The two Big Brother Italy housemates whom found love inside the BB house. I like many am hoping that the love is real and has not been a hoax. If being lesbian is not accepted in Italy then it makes no sense to me to keep up an act. Which is why I think that the act was when they were with the guys. Anyway anyone watching the story knows what is or is not happening as much as me and do not need my two cents worth. But what I do want to mention is that I think it is completely empowering to think that the love and support of lesbians worldwide came together to support Veronica. A plane flew over the BB compound last week with the message “Vero we are with you and the dream” …. now that is POWER!
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