Joy Behar, co-host of The View. | Google Images
“I didn’t know lesbians gave out learner’s permits.”
— Joy Behar on The View, reacting to Lindsay Lohan’s comment to The Sun: “If I wasn’t with Samantha [Ronson], I would probably be with a boy next. She’s the only woman I’ve been attracted to.”
Curling and cocktails. That’s how I spent yesterday evening.
Tonight it’s laundry and speed skating.
These women have some serious thigh muscles.
The curlers, not so much.
In fact, I’ve been saying all week curling is the one Olympic sport I might have been able to attempt. It’s like a board game on ice. Honestly — I’m not entirely sure what’s good vs. bad — I just get all excited based on the tone of the screaming (since it’s often not in English, that’s iffy).
I’ll have a better post soon. It’s been a whirlwind couple of weeks emotion wise — and blogging isn’t coming easy.
For now — back to Vancouver.
is it just me or are you overcome with a wave of nausea upon seeing these jeans? one word for you kids: don't.
in keeping with my i’m-old-now theme, i’m going to rant a little bit about today’s jeans.
i saw a girl on the street today wearing the worst jeans. she was probably a teenager. it wasn’t the cut (skinny, of course) so much as the color. ew, acid-washed jeans, i thought. barf-o. i have a visceral, knee-jerk reaction to acid-washed jeans (see above). i’m not saying middle school was the worst time in my life, but it certainly wasn’t the best. and being in the presence of acid-washed jeans. no no no. let me rephrase that: being in the presence of actual people wearing acid-washed jeans–versus, say, seeing them balled up in the corner of a dirty thrift shop–makes me feel a little…well quite frankly it makes me feel nauseous. i take one look at them and i’m whoosed back to 1980s north jersey. it’s like a friggin time warp and it ain’t pretty. some things are meant to leave in the past. acid-washed jeans are one of those things.
then suddenly it dawned on me: that girl probably has no idea she’s wearing super-cheesy jeans. to even be familiar with acid-washed jeans (unless you’re in fashion school or something), you need to be in your late late 20s and over.
“babe,” i said to holly. (we were sitting at a red light.) “see that girl in the bad jeans? she has no idea she’s wearing acid-washed jeans. to her, they’re just light-colored. but to us, they’re acid-washed.”
“i hate acid-washed jeans,” she said.
they were bad enough the first time around. oh and do you guys remember “tapered” jeans. that you pegged? today’s skinny jeans are just tapered jeans on steroids. now if people start wearing pouffy socks over them, then we have a real problem. and speaking of bad 80s fashion…if those stores that spin the paint around the t-shirts start coming back, i’m leaving the country. that and sarah palin in office. we’re outty here.
THAT’S RIGHT: America’s sweetheart and the #1 Sarah Palin look-a-like since … SARAH PALIN … is on the cover … of the March issue … of VOGUE ?!
Say whaaaaaaaat?!
Here’s what happened:
Was looking at the ol’ inbox, saw a message from “Tina Fey, Vogue”, did a DOUBLE-TAKE.
Tina Fay...that Prada dress matches the lettuce in your hair !!!
I personally feel like sending her a congratulatory basket filled with Twinkies, Devil Dogs, Skittles, Raisinetes, Twizzlers, 12 oz. Coca~Cola, Jamaican Beef Patty, Pop Rocks and a cardboard tray with 12 Dirty Water Dogs from her favorite NYC push-cart.
Somewhere in the world the following is happening:
1. Jack is thinking, “Ah, just another FEMININE MAGIC moment” but also wanting to know why she didn’t perch herself on a GE Mocrowave Oven…Damn you Lemon !!!
2. The Lesbian Cat Wrangler is lining her litter box with the very pages of the worlds fashion bible. One glossy page at a time.
3. Jenna is FREAKING OUT…Standing on the ledge of her 27th floor balcony…ready to jump, when she looks over and spots a pigeon eating muffin crumbs. Her No. 1 (in Israel) an No. 4 (in Belgium) hit single, “Muffin Top” comes to mind and she realizes how important she and her music are to the world…Off the ledge she comes !
4. Tracy…well Tracy ain’t doin’ shit about it. A brotha like him don’t read upitty fashion rags…unless you mean UPITTY as in remove the UP and replace it with a T. Now that kinda magazine, Tracy Morgan will gladly acknowledge.
Here’s what “TINA” wrote:
“Some things you will only see once in your lifetime. This March, I will be on the cover of Vogue …
If you’ve always wondered what it would be like if the talented people of Prada, Gucci, Dolce & Gabanna, and Vogue gave your forty-year-old sister-in-law a makeover, then this is the issue for you. “
But seriously…Tina Fay is a woman of her craft…
7 Emmy Awards
3 Golden Globes
4 Screen Actors Guild Awards
4 Writers Guild of America Award
2008 Associated Press Entertainer of the Year Award
She is the former Head Writer for SNL, screenwriter- Mean Girls and Baby Mama (we all have done something wack) and of course 30 Rock, which she STARS, WRITES, PRODUCES and ROCKS !!!
Some behind the scenes of her SHUT UP AND VOGUE moments. It looks like an episode of Gossip Girl !!!
In the words of Rupaul, “Giiiiirlfriend, you betta WERK !!! “
Tina’s Power List:
Power Couple: Hillary Clinton & Jay-Z
Power Outfit: Big shoulders, deeeep V, hot pants and roller blades
SOME LIZ LEMON MOMENTS:
Siiick!
A year ago yesterday I broke up with my last ever boyfriend, so though I am very much single this Valentine’s Day I consider it a celebratory anniversary of sorts. Though I had never done anything to ummm…., cultivate? my interest in women I had been open with him (the ex) about it, identifying at the time as bisexual. He was, as so many piggish men are, fascinated by it– whenever possible he brought up the possibility of me making out/hooking up with another girl, in his presence of course or the ultimate: a threesome with me and another girl. (I would like to take a moment to clarify the latter was never a possibility, whether or not he could acknowledge that reality.) Anyway, back to a year and a week ago, he finally succeeded. We spent the evening with another couple (close friends of mine) and a few too many games into the evening, my friend and I ended up making out… The ex and I broke up a week later 
. It’s funny because the kiss with my friend was not earth shattering. The heavens did not open up when her lips met mine, the touch of her skin against me didn’t change everything I had ever known in the world, but when I stopped kissing her and went back to my boyfriend… I just couldn’t make myself do it. I couldn’t complete the ritual I’d committed to a hundred times before. I couldn’t let him touch me and react the way I was supposed to; I couldn’t motivated myself to tremble at the right moments, or at least in the right way. And as previously stated, I broke up with him a week later– I just couldn’t fake it anymore.
It would only be fair to clarify that I did not walk away from this relationship with brilliant clarity as to my sexual orientation. I still identified as bisexual for a while (throughout the relationship with the first girl and then the second) and it wasn’t until an unfortunate kiss with a male colleague that the lesbian bells started ringing. However, I am still going to attribute much of my transitional period to the end of that last terrible, terrible, relationship. Which brings us to– the celebration! So regardless of the fact that I’m single, and regardless of the fact that I’ve spent the bulk of this holiday doing homework (ugh), today is a happy day. Today I remember my last day of imprisonment (the imprisonment of my inner self that is– I’m glad he’s an ex but he wasn’t evil) and the first days of my venture towards freedom.
Happy Valentine’s Day everyone! I hope that today, whether you’re with someone or not, you’re the you that you’ve always wanted to be!
Andrea and Harvey talk about having a gay daughter and what their reactions were when she first came out. Both Andrea and Harvey are extremely supportive of their daughter, Becca, and never had any doubts about her capabilities. Their take on having a gay child is, unfortunately, not very common, but they hope to inspire other parents to have an open mind and create a dialogue with their sons and daughters. The bottom line for them is that love and health always prevails when it comes to children. If your child is healthy and happy, their sexuality should not be an issue. Andrea and Harvey are remarkable in their strength, candor, and compassion. Parents everywhere should follow their lead and provide their children with the love, support, and understanding that they deserve.
Lesbians worldwide (myself included) have gone gaga (not Lady) for Sarah & Veronica. The two Big Brother Italy housemates whom found love inside the BB house. I like many am hoping that the love is real and has not been a hoax. If being lesbian is not accepted in Italy then it makes no sense to me to keep up an act. Which is why I think that the act was when they were with the guys. Anyway anyone watching the story knows what is or is not happening as much as me and do not need my two cents worth. But what I do want to mention is that I think it is completely empowering to think that the love and support of lesbians worldwide came together to support Veronica. A plane flew over the BB compound last week with the message “Vero we are with you and the dream” …. now that is POWER!
“It’s like a joining a country club that doesn’t allow blacks or jews.”
— Sarah Silverman on The View, referencing marriage equality allies who are heterosexual and chose to get married
I’m going to embark upon a topic that is fraught with emotion for most folks: Christianity and homosexuality. Few topics anger, confuse, and sadden more than this one. And what I have to saw will merely flow into the larger spectrum with little impact one way or the other. I have not touched this subject in three years of blogging for that reason. Still, I feel that I am at a place where I can speak frankly, yet in a balanced and gracious way. In other words, I’m gonna make everyone angry by not making anyone happy. So, here it goes.
I really like the gay people I know – the friends and the acqauintances. They are hysterical and fun-loving. I find them to be quick-witted, open, honest, and real. Often times, much more authentic than the straight folks I know. They embrace a life of artistry and humor and make me laugh out loud at their clever perspective and charming love of the finer details of life…once again, something often missed by my straight friends. I love their take on the arts, particularly music. In fact, some of the musicians I listen to most often are gay (I’m actually listening to Rufus Wainwright as I write this). One of Beth’s best friends in college was gay – while waiting tables at a restaurant, their friendship began when they both broke up with their boyfriends on the same weekend. Misery loves company I suppose. They have names, live accomplished lives, and their sexuality is merely one aspect of their rich identities. I don’t label/group them anymore than I would call all Germans Nazis or all whites imperialists. And they don’t label me. Neither am I for banning gay marriage - refusing to allow two people to marry insults the dignity of two people in love and denies equal rights that are vital to the civil fabric of our nation.
At the same time, I am a minister. Many of my Christian friends are anti-gay. Although the Methodist Church desires to create and open and welcoming atmosphere for the gay community, other friends of mine who are also in ministry take a very hard line on the issue of homosexuality. And that’s understandable. The Bible really is fairly strict about homosexuality and anyone attempting to call his/herself a Christian must deal with that. Sorry - there’s no way around the biblical passages that condemn that sexual orientation. No, David and Jonathan weren’t in a relationship. The intimate language associated with those passages has to do with the covenantal context that we also see in the biblical language God uses towards humanity. Though it hinges upon unconditional love and acceptance, there’s nothing sexual about it.
So, what’s a minister to do? I made myself a promise several years back that I would not make a doctrinal point at the expense of someone else. I believe that I can uphold a scriptural position without sacrificing the dignity and individuality of others. So, here’s my solution. For Christians, the issue of homosexuality shouldn’t be addressed in the area of conversion (“You’re a Christian, therefore you can’t be gay”). For me, it seems to be more of an issue concerning sanctification. What’s sanctification? It’s the idea that as part of our journey with Christ, there is a slow and gradual change in our behavior. Our likes and dislikes begin to reflect our Maker.
So, how does that work in the gay debate? Well, let’s take a heterosexual male. The New Testament is pretty clear that all sin (though having different ranges of consequence) is equal in spiritual significance. That means there are no “pet” sins that separate us from God more than the others. More significantly, all sin stems from our unwillingness to yield our individuality to God…including the area of sexuality. So for a heterosexual male, Christians celebrate the transformation of his sexual identity using concepts of abstinence, selfless acts of romance, and monogamy. Often times, it takes time for these traits to fully take hold of the male sexual identity – they are entrenched in genetic disposition as much as anything else that makes us human. From what I can tell (and this is going to sound simplistic), the propensity to be gay can be seen in the same way…whether you believe it’s a lifestyle choice or DNA-driven. If God is able change the heart of someone in any area, then over time God can also change the parameters of their sexual orientation.
People are always messing around with the core element of Christianity. Most people say that the good news would be “forgiveness.” I’m not so sure that’s the case. I think the core of Christianity is “change.” It’s the chance to allow God to transform your predispositions towards something more like him. I don’t think homosexuality is any more “wrong” than pride and judgment – which is what most gays hear from the church. But it’s important for anyone who wants to change in any area to know that Christianity promises they can. Now, notice I didn’t say anyone had to change. That’s different than wanting to change. I also didn’t say it was easy to change. But that’s the beauty of the Christian message: unconditional love and acceptance surrounds those who decide to undertake change.
My title is slightly misleading…actually, I just love people. And I love watching God change people as they fellowship with him. We all need God to bring change in our lives. For me, sexual orientation/identity is just as subject to sanctification as gossip, gluttony, or legalism. It falls within the scope of a loving God who sees his reflection in our faces.
